A lot of people define themselves as wounded or broken by past experiences. And so they feel they need to heal their wounds. Speaking about what happened, being heard, seen, and acknowledged that they have the right to feel as they do, can have therapeutical effects, and can seem healing to us. But the reality is that all this keeps us going in circles with little progress.
Say for instance that you were bullied when you were small, and that left a very big imprint on you. So whenever you think of those past experiences, or you have a new experience that makes you bring back the same emotion, you feel as if you were wounded or broken.
Let me suggest you that you are not wounded or broken. But that you bought into the idea that you are unlovable. That is the assumption you incorporated in your mind about yourself. And since that thought is very painful, every time the thought of being unlovable kicks in, you rebel against it. You rebel against, you do not accept, you push away the painful emotion. You are repressing the emotion, and that is exactly what feels so painful.
You don’t need healing. You need to integrate the repressed emotions. This process of emotional integration is called individuation, it moves us towards emotional wholeness, and that is exactly when we make progress.