Have you ever found yourself in a toxic environment at work? Have you ever been bullied, left apart, disregarded? I tell you, I have.
These situations happen to a lot of people, and while being in there, many keep silent, because they feel ashamed or guilty.
There are two things at stake here:
Firstly, believe it or not, you played a big role creating that situation for yourself. I know, it’s shocking. Not that you did something wrong, or that there is something wrong with you. You created that situation because there is something about yourself that requires your attention. And by externalising it, you are creating the opportunity to work on it.
I know I may not be very popular with what I just said. Am I possibly blaming the bullied person for being bullied? No, I’m not saying that they deserve that treatment or that the way they were treated is justified. What I know is that that person unconscious created the situation because there is something she needs to overcome about herself.
And if you think about it twice, the idea that we create our lives circumstances, is the best news we can have. Because this means that we have the power over our lives. Our well-being doesn’t depend on others being nice to us. It depends on us.
Secondly, you are buying into all the negative stuff that justifies being bullied. You are believing it yourself, which makes you enter a downward spiral into depression. It leaves you with a big emotional bubble difficult to digest.
Let me tell you that this is the worst state of mind in which you can be. You are consuming yourself in negative thoughts you are buying into. As long as you are trapped in this state, it is impossible for you to make any progress. You get stuck.
How do you release yourself from being stuck? The first step is to allow those thoughts to be there, not fighting them, and consciously saying that you will not buy into them.
How do you not release yourself from being stuck? By pushing those thoughts away and saying to yourself you are superior to the people that surround you. That will only make things worse.
If you find yourself in this circumstance, my advise for you is to seek help. Unfortunately, most of us have learned a way to go through life that gets us stuck. But there is another way to it, and it’s not about healing or clearing or changing thoughts. It’s about learning who you really are and becoming whole.